Write Your Own Pantomime
The Book - Write Your Own Panto
'Write Your Own Panto' is a book written for those who make pantomime and those who love pantomime.

For those who produce panto - whether amateur or professional - it is a reservoir of many favourite routines in a easy-reference format that will allow you to find that extra bit of nonsense or laugh line to add to your show.

For those who love pantomime it is an indulgence; a book full of memories of standard oft-used routines which continue to amuse successive generations of theatregoers.

Inside you will find a bumper collection of gags, stunts, sketches, jokes; all in an easy format ...
  • The essence of Pantomime
  • One-liners and two-liners
  • More than one-liners
  • Stand-alone scenes
  • Ugly Sisters (& other Comedy Duos)
  • Front of Tabs Fill-ins
  • Running Gags
  • How to write Comic songs
  • Magic in pantomime
  • Narration and rhyming couplets
  • Visual & Clown gags
  • Panto Animals
  • Pantomime Music

... and all designed to make it easier for you to capture that special bit-of-nonsense or routine that will make your pantomime different!

If you've never written a script before this book will guide you every step of the way - from story outline to finished script with comic songs, Dame routines, slapstick comedy, music and rhyming couplets in between. If you are an 'old hand' at script-writing this material will save you hours searching for that special bit of business - now you can 'copy & paste' a favourite routine or gag and drop it into your script - ready to use!
Click Here to view samples from The Book - Write Your Own Panto
LANDLORD (To Widow Twankey):You know how you've always wanted to live in a more expensive house. Well now you can - I've put the rent up!
DAME:Youth is a wonderful thing. Pity it's wasted on the young!
DAME:She took him for bad or for worse but he was worse than she took him for
DAME:It’s good to see a dense crowd in tonight!
COMIC:My wife is so dumb she went out window shopping and came back with five windows!
DAME:I’m chaste - but not as often as I’d like!
MOTHER (to JACK):You’re about as much use as a chocolate fireguard!
DAME:He was desperate for one of my dumplings. Said he was dying for one of my crusty cobs - or was it dying from one of my crusty cobs?
HAREM LADY:That’s a nice dress. I wonder when that style will be in again?
COMIC:When I was at school I was the teacher’s pet. He used to keep me in a cage at the back of the class.
MAGICIAN:I’ll just go and lie down for a spell... lie down for a spell.. oh, please yourself.
COMIC:I used to be into Communism, then I slipped into Buddhism and now I’ve got rheumatism!

More Than One-liners :Ugly sister routine
UGLY 1:I take care of my appearance. You’re as old as you look
UGLY 2:You could never be as old as you look
UGLY 1:I’ve been told I have good taste in clothes
UGLY 2:Taste? I’ve seen crab dressed better
UGLY 1:That’s a nice dress. Are you hoping to slim into it?
UGLY 1:Do you know, I went to the jumble sale but I missed that one.
UGLY 2:When you go to the beauty parlour do you use the emergency entrance?
UGLY 2:Where on earth did you get that dress from?
UGLY 1:(she names a local dress shop) It was one of their discounts.
UGLY 2:Looks more like one of their discards.
UGLY 1:Anyway, do you like it? (She turns around to let her get a better look)
UGLY 2:Like it? It's absolutely terrible. It doesn't suit you at all.
UGLY 1:The saleswoman told me it matched my eyes. Perfectly. (She flutters her lashes)
UGLY 2:She was pulling your leg. That colour's not a bit like bloodshot.
UGLY 1:Anyway, I got it for a ridiculous figure.
UGLY 2:You can say that again!
UGLY 1:Oh you! I think you should wear the same thing you wore to last week's ball.
UGLY 2:I can’t do that! What kind of a fool do you think I am?
The Book - Write Your Own Panto is an eBook downloadable and available immediately in .pdf format.
It can be yours in minutes for only £9.95

Please click here to buy The Book - Write Your Own Panto via Paypal
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Other Books and Scripts

Pantomime Magic
Pantomime Pieces
Snow White
Babes in the Wood
Sleeping Beauty
Scrooge - The Panto
Aladdin

Cinderella
Puss in Boots
Peter Pan
The Beatles - Dick Whittington
Dick Whittington
Ali Baba
Jack & the Beanstalks
 
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